How to Get Everything You Want. Seriously

You'd like to be successful in everything you do, of course. Here's how to make it happen.

Getting what you want in your career and in life isn't as difficult as it may seem. I mean it.

I've been very fortunate, both professionally and personally, and along the way learned seven key ways to help make it happen. In essence, I work to put others first, and to be more likeable, to end up with what I want in everything I do. I'll be writing about this in far more detail in my third book next year.

In the meantime, here's a sneak peak at how you can be successful in everything you do, too:

Listen First and Never Stop Listening
Listening is the single-most important skill in professional and personal relationships. Ernest Hemingway said, "When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen." It's sad, but true: Most people have their own agenda and are too busy talking (or waiting to talk) to listen to you. So here's the paradox: If you, unlike most people, can truly listen with empathy, then people will like you--and eventually help you get what you want.

Help Others
It's perhaps another paradox, but it works: When you want something from someone, instead of asking for it, help that person get what he or she wants. If you don't know what he or she wants, then simply ask, "How can I help you?" Since so many people are out to only help themselves, when you genuinely seek to help others succeed in their goals and dreams, you'll stand out. And those people you genuinely help will in turn fight to help you succeed and give you everything you want. Help others first, without expecting anything--and the returns will be enormous.

Be Yourself: Authentic, Transparent, and Vulnerable
Oprah Winfrey stated, "I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I’ve become. If I had, I’d have done it a lot earlier." Professionals, especially of an older generation, tend to have a tough time with authenticity and transparency in the workplace. People, especially men, tend to have a tough time being vulnerable, especially with people they don't know well. Many also aren't sure how much to reveal online, or at work, or to people they've just met. But, hard as these choices may be, authenticity, transparency, and vulnerability all breed trust. And when people trust you, they'll do anything for you. Open up to people, and take a chance, and you'll be rewarded.

Tell, Don't Sell
As important as it is to listen and help others, in order to get what you want, eventually you've got to tell people what that is. But nobody wants to be sold to. So whether it's a product, service, idea, or yourself that you're trying to sell--give up on "selling." Instead, focus on telling a great story--captivating your audience, bringing to life what the future will bring, and painting a great picture of what will happen if you get what you want. When you get good at storytelling, people want to be part of that story--and they want to help others become part of that story too.

Inject Passion Into Every Interaction
Passion is contagious, but so is lack of passion. If you're not passionate about what you're talking about, why should someone else care? If you want something, you must be more excited and dedicated to it than anyone else. If you're not passionate about it, maybe it's not really that important to you. Not everyone is super high-energy and extraverted, though these qualities can help convey passion in many cases. Passion and energy alone put me through college with my first job. But ultimately, you don't need to be bouncing off the walls to convince someone of something. You just need to reveal your true passion, in the way that's genuine for you.

Surprise and Delight Others
You know how when you walk into a casino, there's always a slot machine going off somewhere in the background, telling the world that another person just hit a jackpot? This is what social psychologists call variable rewards. You don't know when you're going to win; you just have enough positive experiences that you feel excited, even when you're not winning. When you surprise and delight others, not only do you make them happy--you remind them that you're the type of person who might surprise and delight them soon again. Some classic examples: bringing home flowers to your wife for "no reason"; telling a customer his order will arrive next week but then overnighting it; and now, tweeting to a random prospect that she's won a free prize. If you go out of your way to make an experience with you special, especially when people least expect it, you will get huge results over time.

Use The Four Most Important Words in Business and Life
Say "I'm sorry" when you make a mistake and "thank you" as much as you can. These words are so simple, yet so often people overlook the importance of saying them. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone knows that. It's not when you make a mistake that's a problem; it's when you make a mistake and are too proud or embarrassed to be vulnerable, fess up, and apologize. Just say "I'm sorry" and let another person forgive you, so you can move on, and eventually get what you want. Conversely, sincere gratitude to people is a powerful emotion to convey, and opens up many doors. I send three hand-written thank you cards every morning. I send them to staff, customers, vendors, the media, and friends, and not only do I find people love receiving cards, but writing "thank you" puts me in an incredible mindset to start my day. This is not just about sending cards, though. It's about having a deep appreciation for and wonder about the people and world around you.

By: Dave Kerpen

Source: Inc.

Detroit VC: Why Bankruptcy Is Great For Us

Josh Linkner, founder of Detroit Venture Partners, says filing for Chapter 9 is necessary for Detroit. And it's good for the start-up scene.

Detroit has seen better days. The city is saddled with $18 billion in debt and an unemployment rate of 16 percent. Yesterday, culminating in a months-long decision process, the city filed for Chapter 9 bankruptcy. 

So if you think the city's bankruptcy makes Detroit a bad place to start and run a business--you'd be forgiven. But you might not necessarily be right. 

At least, that's what Josh Linkner believes.

"I don't want to say this is a great day--because it will have a negative impact on human beings, and I want to be compassionate," says Linkner, the founder of Detroit Venture Partners, a $50 million venture capital firm that invests in early-stage start-ups in the city. "But from a business standpoint, this is a step forward."

Of course, Linkner has a horse in the race. (Or several horses, really.) But he makes some compelling points about the city and its future. I spoke with him this morning--here's a lightly-edited transcript of our conversation. 

You've been in Detroit your whole life. Your family has been here for a few generations. So let's just start here: What's Detroit's biggest problem?
One is a historical problem and one is a current problem. The historical problem has been a whole series of mismanagement and corruption and decay that's happened over the last 40 to 50 years. That's the root of the problem. Today we're cleaning that up. Our current biggest challenge is dealing with the messes that were created back then. 

You say filing for bankruptcy was the right decision. Why?
The word bankruptcy carries a lot of emotional strings for people. But this is a legal preceeding. It doesn't mean that our city is bankrupt. What this means is that we're cleaning off some of the burdens created decades ago. The city has $18 billion of debt, and revenue of $1 billion a year. That's just not sustainable. 

I think it's an economic decision, it's not signifying that our city is out. It's the opposite. It's showing that we're going to shed this dead weight and be productive. The biggest negative to me are the perceptions that go along with it. But the longer we wait to "take the medicine" here, the worse it's going to get. So fine, let's rip the Band-Aid off, take the heat, and be the punchline of the Late-Night jokes. But what's more important is the future. 

When Chrysler and GM filed for bankruptcy, people were saying "This is the end of the auto industry." And today no one talks about their bankruptcy. People just talk about how strong they are and how great they're doing. This is exactly what's going to happen in Detroit. 

What does this bankruptcy mean for the city's growing start-up scene?
Again, the city is open for business. We're making the tough decisions that are necessary to ensure a successful business climate for the future. If anything, it's kind of a relief for many people. I also believe there's going to be a lot of aid that comes in from the federal level, philanthropic level, and even the business community. They've been sitting on the sidelines waiting for this to happen. Everyone knew this had to happen, that we needed to do this. Now that this is happening, it's going to pave the way for positive things to come and more investment. So the net-net effect for tech entrepreneurs is a really good one. 

What about Detroit's human capital? 
There's been a significant increase in the number of software engineers. Detroit's becoming a better place to live, work, and play. In our central business district, occupancy is over 99 percent. New developers are racing to get new products online. People are moving into the city. 

How do you overcome the perception of bankruptcy as an "ending"?
A lot has to do with more accurately portraying what this is. When you think of the word "bankruptcy," it makes you think that things are over. That there's a death. But this is not a death. This is a new beginning. And in the same way that a person files for individual bankruptcy--it doesn't mean their life is ending. It means that they are letting go of unmanagable debt so they can live a better life in the future. That's what's happening here. It doesn't mean we're cutting police, turning off the lights, or stopping garbage collection. This is about dealing with an $18 billion sack of debt.  

By: Eric Markowitz

Source: Inc.

Rethink 'Brand You': Find Your Authentic Self

“This above all: to thine own self be true.” – Shakespeare

If there’s one business slogan/fad/concept that’s in danger of becoming meaningless through overuse, it’s “brand you.” These days I can can spot a “brand” (as opposed to an authentic person) from the first word out of his or her mouth. “Brands” tend to be a little too perfect — packaged, programmed, and plastic. They’re pushing what they think we want to buy, not their real selves. I see this unfold every day in social media – for better or for worse. It’s like the difference between processed food and the amazing stuff you can get at farmers markets.

 I want authenticity when I hire, and even when I’m not. Catching my drift? I do not want some amalgam of what the applicant thinks the employer is looking for. I want to know you for the real you. I want to celebrate your personality – every nook and cranny. Real success has always been about knowing ourselves and staying true to that core. People who know themselves enrich an organization’s culture, and add to the workplace community with their spontaneity and honesty.

So build the “real you”. As the brilliant, nimble consultant and author Dorie Clark says in her must-read book Reinventing You: Define Your Brand, Reimagine Your Future: “Your reputation lasts for a long time, and needs to be treated with respect. You won’t get very far if you try to be something you’re not. Rather, your personal brand is about figuring out who you really are and what you do best, and then living that brand out. It’s the essence of authenticity.”

Here are five ways to find your authentic self:

1) Take Shakespeare’s advice and be true to yourself. Know your values and never compromise them, even if doing so might lead to short-term gain. Integrity and authenticity go hand in hand.

2) Be good to yourself. We all have to take care of ourselves. And this means doing things that enrich us, body, mind and soul. Go fly fishing, tutor ex-cons, learn a new language, discover a cool new rock band, start a new business venture, bake cupcakes, read Trollope, hike the Andes. Find things that nurture you and make you feel good about yourself. This will deepen yourself of sense of self, and your self-confidence.

3) Have fun. Life is short and often hard.Fun and a sense of humor help us all get through. They also happen to be amazing productivity and community-building tools. I can’t tell you how many tough meeting I’ve been in where the mood is turned around by some genuine humor. Exercise your funny bone.

4) Don’t hide your so-called flaws. No one is perfect and no one is expected to be perfect. You may be cranky at times, pessimistic, even antisocial or a little weird. Well, guess what? Steve Jobs was a freak. Understand yourself — talents and “flaws” — and bring it all to the table.

5) Know what you want. Career trajectories are impossible to predict. But if you know who you are and what you want, you’ll save a lot of time and energy. To the greatest extent possible, only go after opportunities that ignite your passion and stir your soul.

Authentic people are exciting, original and refreshing, the essential element of an exciting, vibrant workplace culture that leads to knockout performance. Exciting companies are hungry for authenticity. Find your true self and run with it. Please let me know how it goes.

By: Meghan M. Biro

Source: Forbes

5 Signs That You're an Entrepreneur at Heart

You might be surprised how many "entrepreneurs" are not at the helm of a growing business but rather are among the employees helping to build it.

Entrepreneurs can be a wacky bunch, but it can get weird to see some of these personality traits in the people you select to help build your business.

When you look at entrepreneurs who have built businesses larger and longer-lasting than themselves, you see some fascinating and surprising characteristics. Some of these attributes are contrary to the stereotypes that are propagated by television and movies.

Here are five observations we've made about the entrepreneurial mind and personality.

1. Entrepreneurs are passionate, inside and outside of work.

Whatever they immerse themselves in, entrepreneurs typically invest fully and passionately. This extends beyond business building into many aspects of life outside the workplace.

2. Entrepreneurs are committed to building businesses, not just coming up with great ideas.

Most people with ideas don't build businesses. Most entrepreneurs we know look for good businesses to build, given their area of expertise. We've met countless individuals with a "great idea" who never turn that idea into a successful business.

3. Entrepreneurs know how to focus, yet are comfortable moving in multiple directions at once.

It's notable how many entrepreneurial business owners we know who are building multiple businesses at once or are leading nonprofit organizations at the same time they are building for-profit businesses. Often, this comes across as restlessness but is really the manifestation of a high level of energy that, when focused, can lead to amazing accomplishments.

4. Entrepreneurs are happy.

Most entrepreneurs have healthy personal lives, despite in some cases being "married" to their work. Our guess is that finding happiness in your professional life, whether that means freedom from a boss or feelings of accomplishment, feeds a healthy mind, which bleeds into one's personal life.

5. Entrepreneurs can be employees.

People often associate "entrepreneur" with any small-business owner. But we see the term as more general to any business builder. The reason? We see a lot of small-business owners who don't act like business builders, and we see a lot of business builders within larger companies who have entrepreneurial traits. You don't have to be an owner to be a successful entrepreneur.

All of the above characteristics contribute to success in building businesses and creating lasting growth.

By: Klark Stark and Bill Stewart

Source: Inc.

How Entrepreneurs Can Reduce Stress

Small business owners can restore their health and sanity with these four easy stress-reduction methods.

Being an entrepreneur can be hazardous to your health. According to research from Bolt Insurance, almost half of small business owners believe that the stress of running their business has damaged their health.

This is not surprising when you consider that entrepreneurs work longer hours than almost anybody else. Two thirds of small business owners work more than 40 hours a week and fully one out of ten puts in a staggering 70 hours plus!

To make matters worse, most entrepreneurs find it difficult to take much-needed rest and relaxation. More than half are afraid to take even a full week of vacation in the summer, often because they're afraid an important client won't get good service.

Fortunately, there are four ways that entrepreneurs can reduce their stress levels and recover both their health and sanity:

1. Learn to Say "No"

When you commit to 10 percent more than you can actually accomplish, it "feels" like you've got 50 percent more, thereby creating even more stress. By not taking on more of a workload that you can reasonably carry, you create more time for meaningful activity and therefore less stress.

2. Delegate, Delegate, Delegate

Taking on more than your fair share of the responsibility for getting things done leads to fear of things "falling apart" when you take a day off. Giving more responsibility to your employees and contractors--and trusting that they'll get the job done--can take a huge weight of stress off your shoulders.

3. Track Your Time

Here's a huge secret: 90 percent of time management is simply tracking how much time you're spending on each type of task. Knowledge is power. Once you realize what's eating up your time it becomes absurdly easy to decide what's high-priority and what can be eliminated or delegated.

4. Unplug

Every entrepreneur knows that success is only possible through self-discipline. Well, here's where theory meets practice. Exercise the self-discipline to turn off your phone and computer when you're asleep and for at least two hours while you're awake. For maximum stress reduction, spend that time with friends and family.

By: Geoffrey James

Source: Inc.

11 Ways to De-Clutter Your Day

11 Ways to De-Clutter Your Day

Do less and achieve more--starting today. Adopt some of these easy habits to make it happen. 

Success tends to create clutter: more meetings, more projects, more decisions, more items on your to-do list. But often doing more can mean achieving less.

That's why subtraction can be the best addition, especially when you streamline your workday and, in the process, your professional life.

Instead of doing a total professional makeover, the easiest way is to start small. Try a few of these:

Eliminate one "permission."

You probably don't think of it this way, but everything you do "trains" the people around you how to treat you. Let employees interrupt your meetings or phone calls because of "emergencies" and they'll feel free to interrupt you any time. Drop what you're doing every time someone calls and they'll always expect immediate attention. Return emails immediately and people will expect an immediate response.

In short, your actions give other people permission to keep you from working the way you work best.

A friend created an "emergency" email account; he responds to those immediately. Otherwise his employees know he only checks his "standard" email a couple times a day and they act accordingly.

Figure out how you work best and "train" the people around you to let you be as productive as you possibly can.

Kill one report.

You're not reading most of them anyway. And neither are your employees.

Kill one sign-off.

I worked at a manufacturing plant where supervisors had to sign off on quality before a job could be run. Seemed strange to me--we trusted the operators to ensure jobs met standards throughout the run, so why couldn't we trust them to know if a job met quality standards before they started running?

You probably have at least one sign-off in place because somewhere along the way an employee made a major error and you don't want the same mistake to happen again. But in the process you reduce the amount of responsibility your employees feel for their own work because you've inserted your authority into the process.

Train, explain, trust--and remove yourself from processes where you don't belong.

Fire one customer.

You know the one: The high maintenance, low revenue, non-existent profits one.

Start charging more or providing less. If that's not possible, fire that customer.

Prune your to-do list.

A to-do list with 20 or 30 items is not only daunting, it's depressing. Why start when there's no way you can finish?

So you don't.

Try this instead. Create a wish list--use it to write down all the ideas, projects, tasks, etc. that occur to you. Make it your "would like to do" list.

Then pick three or four items off that list that will make the most difference. Pick the easiest tasks to accomplish, or the ones with the biggest payoff, or the ones that will eliminate the most pain.

Make that your to-do list. And then get it done.

Then go back and pick three or four more.

Cut one expense.

Right now you're spending money on something you don't use, don't need, or don't want. But since you buy it... you feel you have to use it. I subscribed to a number of magazines (because subscribing is really cheap compared to buying at the newsstand). Great--but then the magazines show up. Then I have to read them. If I don't, they sit around making me feel guilty.

So I dropped three or four. I don't miss them.

Often the biggest savings in cutting an expense isn't the actual cost; it's the time involved in doing or maintaining or consuming whatever the expense represents.

Pick one expense you can eliminate that will also free up time and effort: Your bottom line and your workday will thank you for it.

Drop one personal commitment.

We all do things simply because we feel we should. Maybe you volunteer because a friend asked you to but you feel no real connection to the cause you support. Maybe you have a weekly lunch with some old friends but it feels more like a chore than a treat. Or maybe you keep trying to learn French just because once you started you didn't want to feel like a quitter.

Think about one thing you do out of habit, or because you think you're supposed to, or simply because you don't know how to get out of it--and then get out of it.  The momentary pain--or in some cases, confrontation--of stepping down, dropping out, or letting go will be replaced quickly by a huge sense relief.

Then you can use that time to do something you feel has real meaning.

Or just take a break.

Streamline your lunch.

You already make enough decisions. What to have for lunch shouldn't be one of them.

Pack tuna and a small salad. Pick something healthy, something simple, even something you can eat at your desk. Save the decision-making for what's really important.

As a bonus, you'll lose a little weight and feel a little better.

Create a window of reflection.

Most small business owners spend a lot more time reacting--to employee issues, customer requests, market conditions, etc.--than they do reflecting.

Eliminate 20 or 30 minutes of reacting time by creating a little quiet time. Close your door and think. Better yet, go for a walk. Exercise does more to bolster thinking than thinking does; walking just 40 minutes three days a week builds new brain cells and improves memory functions.

And don't worry that something bad will happen while you're gone--most of the time the issues you "avoid" will solve themselves.

Eliminate one willpower drain.

We all have a finite supply of willpower. Resisting temptation creates stress and eventually exhaustion.

And then you give in.

But if you don't have to exercise willpower, you don't drain your energy. Say you keep a bowl of candy for customers at the front desk. Every time you walk by you're tempted to grab a piece, but you stand firm. Resisting tires you out, though, and in time you'll be more susceptible to the candy's charms.

Get rid of the candy altogether. Then you don't have to use any willpower at all. Pick something you have to resist--food, wasting time, Web browsing, checking social media accounts--and eliminate the temptation.

Discipline depletes. Discipline is exhausting. Stay fresh by removing the need for discipline altogether.

Eliminate one category of decisions.

Instead of making serial decisions, try making just one: Decide who will decide.

Say you regularly need to decide whether to expedite shipping due to work-in-progress delays. Instead of being the go-to decision-maker, pick someone in the organization that will make those decisions. Provide guidance, parameters, and advice, and turn that person loose. Then check in periodically to see if they need more direction. That way you get to spend time figuring out how to eliminate the delays instead of dealing with the repercussions.

Almost every decision you currently make can be taken over by people you trust. How will you learn to trust them?

Teach, train, guide, verify. In time you'll give your employees the authority and responsibility they earn.

By: Jeff Haden

Source: Inc.

10 Ways to Be Productive in the Summer

10 Ways to Be Productive in the Summer

Lazy days ahead? Not this summer. Here's what you should be doing to stay productive in the dog days of summer.

During the dog days between Memorial Day and Labor Day, most of us become accustomed to the inevitable summer slow-down. Key people aren't available (holidays); projects stall, waiting for Fall to roll around, and a general sense of lassitude begins to creep in.

Summer doesn't need to be a write-off however. Here are 10 ways you can use those months to get ahead of the game:

1. Conduct your personal annual review.
There's something seemingly magical about the calendar year end that has us all trapped in its spell. We see the turn of the year as a time for reflection and a time to plan the year ahead. But the reality is, the calendar year-end is an entirely mechanistic construction.

An annual review (looking back at what you learned, what you achieved, what you missed out on, and rearranging priorities for the incoming year) is an incredibly useful exercise, but there's absolutely no reason your need to conduct it in the middle of a much-needed holiday, and during what is a busy time for all of us.

Do what I do. Move your personal annual review to the summer. You still get to review the entire previous year, but you also get to do it in a much less frenzied state, and with much more likelihood that you will actually implement the lessons you learn (remember all those never-happened new years' resolutions?).

2. Read.
Most of us read less than we ought to. Time constraints notwithstanding, there's something about cracking open the spine of a book (or double-clicking on an ebook file) that sparks low-level guilt pangs in many leaders. The sense that there must be something more important, or urgent, to do robs us of the opportunity to learn from others.

Grab just two books from the pile you've been meaning to get to, and build a daily reading time into your summer schedule. Read consciously, deliberately, and read to learn. If you've been too busy to even set aside some books, there are many fine lists out there, and at a pinch this book and this book are as good a place to start as any.

3. Review your project list.
You should know by now which of your current-year projects are bearing fruit, which are dead in the water, and which are still teetering between the two.

Use the summer dead-time to review your project list (if you don't have a master list of every project you're involved in, start by making a brain dump of them all. This exercise in itself will prove invaluable) and use the principles I outlined in this article to re-prioritize them.

4. Get to and learn to maintain inbox zero.
If there was ever a time to finally get on top of your email overload, it's the summer, when both email volume and (perhaps) demands on your time goes down.

I'm a big proponent of David Allen's 'Getting Things Done' (GTD) methodology. It just plain works, but at the cost of an initial time investment. Get the book, set aside two or three days, and get started. Most importantly, use the dog days of summer to stay on the inbox zero horse, and groove the GTD principles.

5. Do your annual budget.
If your responsibilities include the construction and oversight of an annual budget, you may well be able to do a large percentage of the underlying prior-year analysis and budget construction during the summer months.

Why wait until the fall, when everyone is once more up to their eyes? Unless there are unavoidable reasons otherwise (the need for seasonal information, for example), get started now.

6. Take a break.
A real break. Not one of those "I'm away but I'll be checking my email and voicemail" martyr deals.

Whats that? You can't? Then I suspect you have deeper problems. Unless you're managing a start-up that's still in Early Struggle, you're either a lousy leader who can't hire or delegate well, or you have an inflated need to be needed. Maybe you should spend your summer working on that.

7. Reset your single pre-eminent goal.
Leaders who achieve great things almost always have a Single Pre-Eminent Goal(SPG)--a clear, unambiguous deliverable that sits below their 50,000-ft objectives, and which dictates and prioritizes their activities on a day-to-day, week-to-week basis.

SPG's should be reviewed about twice a year, so why not use this article to do just that over the summer?

8. Do something "it's never the right time for".
Go paperless. Change accountant. Take up yoga. What projects are on your "someday/maybe" list that you wanted to start, but felt "this isn't the right time to start".

Well, now's the time. Pull up that list of deferred projects (or spend 10 minutes recollecting and listing them), pick one, and get started.

9. Rebuild your working environment.
Look around you. Chances are your working environment is less than ideal for high-quality, highly creative work. The summer months are a perfect opportunity to fix that.

Over time, we let crud accumulate in our working environment. Files for since-aborted projects; books, papers and other reading materials we'll never get around to; Old, unused tech; Souvenirs, gizmos and tchotchkes that once seemed cute, but which now just get in the way. Grab a trash bag and flush the lot. Stick it all in storage if you're queasy about throwing it away. Now take another look around. What else can you do to refresh your working pace for great productivity?

10. Give back.
Many leaders I know are generous of heart and spirit, but are so consumed with daily responsibilities that their ability to give back to the wider community shrinks, often to the point of becoming inactive.

If the last occasion you can recall doing something altruistic and substantial is over a year ago, why not make this summer the time to change that? Don't make the giving back (necessarily) about money. Instead, gift what is most valuable to you: your time. Volunteer, mentor, coach, encourage. I guarantee that you - and therefore your business - will be the better for it.

By: Les McKeown

Source: Inc.