The Surfer's Guide to Personal Development

A few years ago I wrote an article here about navigating the waters of life.

Surfers have a different relationship with the ocean than most people do. Rather than admire its beauty from the sidelines, we feed off its energy because for most of us it’s a second home. We’re more comfortable in water than on land. It’s much more than a sport, but our calling in life. Every session leaves us with powerful life lessons and today I just wanted to share a few of my most important ones with you.

Live in the moment, but keep your eyes on the horizon

If there’s anything that surfing really teaches you it’s how to be present. When you’re on a wave you really can’t think bout another thing and if you do you will find yourself submerged rather quickly. But, the interesting thing is that you have to keep your eyes on the horizon and anticipate when the next wave will arrive. Life is kind of the same way. We need to live in the moment, while being mindful of our future goals and plans. However if live too far in the future our performance in the presence suffers.

Embrace the Unknown
Every single time you paddle for a wave you’re taking a risk because there’s no telling how it’s going to turn out. You’re either going to take a hard fall or experience the ride of your life. When you do catch that ride every sense of fear, doubt, and uncertainty disappears and you’re overcome by a sense of pure bliss that words can hardly describe. In life when when we’re willing take risks, and step into the unknown we dramatically raise our potential for the possibility of an extraordinary life. Everything you know and are confident in today was once an unknown that required a leap of faith. So embrace the unknown.

Learn to Shake The Wipeouts
If you want to ride waves you have to be ok with the occasional wipeout. In his recent graduation speech at U-Penn, Denzel Washington eloquently said “you will suck a something and you will fail.” That’s just a part of life and once you learn to realize that your failures don’t define you, but build character you can learn to shake the wipeouts.

All It Takes is One Good Wave
Talk to anybody who surfs and they’ll tell you their addiction started with that very first wave. Standing up for the first time is the hardest part of learning how to surf. But once you do, you can never get enough of that rush. Accomplishing anything in life is kind of the same. It might take a while for you to hit your stride, but once you do it will have been totally worth it and all it takes is one major milestone to establish your confidence and keep you pushing yourself to the next level.

There’s Always Another Wave Coming
The ocean teaches you abundance because there is always another wave coming. But if you’re too caught up in the one you missed or didn’t’ catch you won’t be there to catch your wave when it arrives. People talk quite a bit about missed opportunities. When you dwell on the past and the opportunities you missed, you’ll be looking back instead of seeing the opportunity that might be right there in front of you. So don’t sweat it when you miss your chance and believe at your core that there is always another wave coming.

Nature Rewards Patience
When you’re in the ocean you’re on mother nature’s schedule rather than your own. You learn to be extremely patient. In life we have a tendency to want to force the order in which things happen and we end up creating the very resistance that kills our flow. When we become patient and let nature take its course we’re able to navigate the waters of life with far more ease.

The ocean is an incredible teacher. There won’t be a single day that it doesn’t leave you humbled, grateful and slightly wiser.

 

By: Srinivas Rao

Source: Dumb Little Man

A Killer of Success

If you were to start a business today from scratch, how long would you work to see a profit until you would decide to just quit? Of course the time line would depend on the business, but I would imagine your answer to be something that was at least a year. The reality is however, many people would quit well before the year is up. So what is one of the main causes and killers of success? The answer is impatience.

With all the hype and advertisements enticing us to give into our instant gratification urges, it seems that more and more people are getting a bit impatient when it comes to producing results. Think about people who go on a weight loss program and quit after a few months. The only reason they quit was because they weren't seeing the results they wanted quick enough.

Have you ever done this? Have you ever set a goal and only after a few weeks or even months of working on it, you decided to quit? I realize that sometimes people are just doing the wrong things, but many times, they were just expecting too much too soon. If you want to be able to stick with your goal until you achieve it, then you must be patient. Anything worth obtaining will take time.

So how do you deal with impatient feelings? You get knowledgeable and plan it out. You must do a bit of research to find out about how long it would take to accomplish your chosen goal, then plan out your actions and expectations accordingly. Too often people will throw themselves onto the path of achieving a goal without know how long it will actually take.

If you wanted to lose 50 pounds, for example, you must find out how many pounds a month you should expect to lose. That way, when your first 30 days is up, and you step on the scale and see that you have lost 8 pounds, you will be motivated to keep on going. Suppose you didn't know this piece of information and expected to lose all 50 pounds the first month. If you see that you've only lost 8 pounds, you will most likely get discouraged and quit.

Being patient just comes down to knowing what to expect. If you expect to be in your car for an hour in traffic while driving home from work, you'll be more patience with the slow moving traffic compared to the guy who thought the drive would only be 20 minutes. So the next time you set a goal, take the time to find out how long you should expect it to take to obtain that goal. This will help increase your chances of not quitting too soon. Just be careful not to buy into promises from people who are trying to sell you something since many tend to exaggerate.
By: Kevin Ngo
Source: Motivational Well Being

Motivation Refueled: 12 Ways to Find It if You Lose it Along the Way

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”
Zig Ziglar

“I was thinking one day and I realized that if I just had somebody behind me all the way to motivate me I could make a big difference. Nobody came along like that so I just became that person for myself.”
Unknown

Staying motivated until you reach your goals and dreams isn’t always easy. There are often roadblocks, plateaus and valleys along the way where you can get into a slump. Or a rut. And feel like your motivation has flown away.

So today I would like to share 12 ways that I have used to find that motivation again. I hope you’ll find something helpful here.

1. Refocus on doing what YOU really, really like to do. When you really like doing something then the motivation to do it comes automatically (most of the time). And when you really want something then it simply becomes easier to push through any inner resistance you feel. So if you lose your motivation, ask yourself: Am I doing what I really want to do? If not and if possible, refocus and start working on that very important thing instead.
2. Make a list of upsides. Write down all the benefits you will get from achieving something, like for example getting into better shape or making more money. Save it and then pull that list out of the drawer whenever your motivation is lacking again and review it. Or put it somewhere where you will see it every day until you reach your dream. This is a powerful way to reconnect with your motivation and reasons for taking action.
3. Make a list of downsides. You can combine this with the list of upsides to give yourself even more motivation to start moving and get things done. Ask yourself: how will my life look in 5 years if I continue to stay on the same path as now? How will life likely become worse for me and maybe even for the people around me? Try to see the negative consequences as vividly as you can in your mind to kickstart your motivation to start going for that positive change again.
4. Spend 3 minutes with remembering your successes. If you lose your motivation then it is easy to get stuck in looking at your failures and so you get stuck in that slump. So instead, sit down for three minutes and just remember your successes. Let them wash over you and refuel your inspiration and motivation.
5. Go for a bigger goal. Set a big goal that inspires you even if it may seem a tad unrealistic at the moment. If you have too easily achievable goals then you may find that they don’t give you that motivational spark and drive. When you start to think a bit bigger then you get motivated and your mind starts looking for the solutions that will help you achieve that goal. Thinking too small can leave you with a “meh…” feeling or make you feel like you can do it later.
6. Remember how far you have come and compare yourself with yourself. Comparing what you have and your results to what other people have and have accomplished can really kill your motivation. There are always people ahead of you. So focus on you. On your results. And how you can and have improved your results. This is important because it’s a great motivator to see how much you have improved and how far you have come. Often you can be pleasantly surprised when you do such a review.
7. Reconnect with optimism. How you perceive what you are doing or are about to do makes a huge difference. The positive and constructive way of looking at things energizes and inspires you. It makes it easier to keep going even when you hit roadblocks. So ask yourself questions like: What is awesome about this situation? What can I learn from this and what is the opportunity in this situation? How can I or we solve this and what is the next small step that I or we can take to do so?
8. Work out. I like this one because even if you feel too frustrated and down to do ask yourself the right questions you can still drag yourself to the gym or wherever you go to exercise. And if you just do your pretty mindless repetitions then your body will do the rest. Endorphins, testosterone and other chemicals will be released. Inner tensions will loosen up and leave your body. Your negative emotional pattern will be broken. And new energy will be added to your body.
9. Talk about it. Sometimes you just need to let it out and talk to someone about your motivational low point. Letting it all out can release a lot of pent up emotion and let you get a new, more positive and healthy perspective on things. Often we build our own small or medium-sized problems into big scary monsters in our minds. Letting the monsters out into the light and letting others see them can make us realize that we were making a too big of a deal of it all. It allows us to lighten up a bit, to not take things too seriously and to start moving out of the self-created slump. So talk to a friend or family member. Or try an anonymous internet forum with likeminded people.
10. Remember to have fun. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the seriousness of a task and the stress and tension of completing it. So remember that you are allowed to have fun when you are working on it. There is no rule that says you have to be all serious about it all the time. When you can, create fun in a task. Compete with yourself to finish it even faster than you did the last time, whistle a nice tune while working or have fun and joke around with your co-workers and class mates.
11. Start moving and let the motivation catch up with you. Many times I have found it better to just do it and start working instead of trying to motivate myself to get going. At first what you do may suck quite a bit and it’s hard going. But after a while inspiration and motivation seems to catch up with you. Things start to flow easier and your work is of a higher quality.
12. Take a break. Yeah, sometimes you just need to take a break. Perhaps your time-plan for your goal or new habit is just too optimistic? Maybe you have worked harder than you can manage right now. Then take a break. A few hours or days of rest and recuperation can change how you feel in a remarkable way and recharge your batteries.

By: Henrik Edberg
Source: Positivity Blog 

How Safe Are Your Perceptions?

Any person who selects a goal in life which can be fully achieved, has already defined his own limitations. – Cavett Robert

In his book, Winning Every Day, legendary football coach Lou Holtz shares a story about a
man whose car tumbled into a ditch. He called a farmer for some help, but the
farmer said, “You’d need a team of young stallions to pull that car. I only
have one horse, Dusty. He’s blind and old. We’ll bring him over to the ditch,
though, and see what he can do. But don’t expect too much.”

The farmer hitched Dusty to the car, snapped a whip in the air, and said, “Pull, Jimmy
pull!” Dusty never moved. The farmer snapped the whip again and said, “Pull,
Sammy pull.” Dusty still didn’t move. The farmer snapped the whip a third time
and said, “Pull Charley pull.” Dusty remained still. The farmer snapped the
whip the fourth time and said, “Pull, Dusty pull.” With one mighty tug, Dusty
yanked the car out of the ditch.

The grateful driver shook the farmer’s hand and said, “Thanks for freeing my car; but
there’s something I don’t understand. Dusty never moved when you kept calling
him by those different names. Why didn’t you just call Dusty by his name from
the start?” The farmer replied, “I had to call out those three names first.
Dusty is blind. If he’d thought he had to do all that work by himself, he never
would have even tried.”

The perceptions you have go a long way not only in defining your leadership style
but in shaping the direction of your organization. Get it wrong and the
consequences can be devastating. Despite the perceptions of the farmer, the horse
accomplished the task and removed the car from the ditch. What will be the
consequence of your perceptions? Here are three things to remember as you
formulate your perceptions about your organization and your people.

Perceptions shape your reality. The perception you place on your
organization or colleagues is a powerful belief. Consider this; if the people
in your organization were to rise to the level of your perception of them,
would your organization be in a better place?

While it’s been said that perception is reality, that statement is not quite true. It
becomes true when you and your team take ownership of it. Sherwood Eddy said,
“Faith is not trying to believe something regardless of the evidence; faith is
daring to do something regardless of the consequences.” And this is the secret
to your leadership. The greatest compliment you can give to your team is a
faith in them that surpasses your perceptions of them.

Perceptions shape your direction. What you believe about your people
and what they buy into shapes the direction all of you will travel. Consider
this; if the people in your organization were to go in the direction of your
perceptions of them where would that take you? Your perceptions are to your
organization what a rudder is to a ship. Perceptions navigate the direction of
your organization.

John Maxwell writes, “Being able to navigate for others requires a leader to possess a
positive attitude. You’ve got to have faith that you can take your people all
the way. If you can’t confidently make the trip in your mind, you’re not going
to be able to take it in real life. Sometimes it’s difficult balancing optimism
and realism, intuition and planning, faith and fact. But that’s what it takes
to be effective as a navigating leader.” If you are not comfortable with the
direction you are taking your team then examine your perceptions. Your team
deserves a leader with a positive attitude who has faith in their ability.

Perceptions shape your destiny. If you want to know what the future
has in store for you as a leader and that of your organization then look no
further than your perceptions. Consider this; if you and your organization are
going to live out the destiny of your perceptions of them, do you have a bright
future?

Your team deserves a leader who does not put a lid on potential, but by his or her perceptions
communicates that its future is bright and its possibilities are limitless. Abraham
Lincoln said, “The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at
a time.” And one day at a time our perceptions shape our reality, our
direction, and our destiny. How safe are your perceptions?

By: Doug Dickerson
Source: Leader's Beacon

Steve Jobs' 10 Secrets to Building a Huge Empire

Steve Paul Jobs was born on February 24th, 1955. He is known to be the Chairman, co-founder as well as the CEO of the Apple Inc. He was also the former CEO of well known Pixar Animation Studios. He was also represented among the Board of Directors of the Walt Disney Company. Not bad!

He completed his studies in California and later he did his frequent after-school lectures in Palo Alto at the Hewlett Packard Company. In a few months time, he was hired in the same place and from there his career started to accelerate. The great personality exhibited by Steve Jobs was told and appreciated far and wide. He was referred to as one of Silicon Valley’s leading egomaniac by Fortune Magazine.

It was in the year 1976 when he founded the company he named Apple Inc. Presently, Jobs is referred to as the single largest shareholder in the Walt Disney Company and also one among its Board of Directors. His presence and appreciation in both the computer as well as entertainment field is remarkable.

With his fame, he is well known for whatever came out from his mouth and was thus noted to be quoted. In casual conversation, Steve Jobs seems to come up with earth-moving quotes. The mastery of this is that most of his quotes can be applied to the the jobs we all have, the careers we all seek, and the lives we all want to lead.

Let's take a look at some of the great quotes of this modern day tech and media leader.

1. To Build up Confidence

   “We don’t get a chance to do that many things, so every one should be really excellent. Because this is our life. Life is brief, and then you die, you know?"

   
   Steve Jobs is confident in whatever decisions he makes and he talks about what has taken him to great heights. He also insists all of us to be good to the heart as our lives are short and death can arrive at any time.
2. On Confidence and Creativity

   “That happens more than you think, because this is not just engineering and science. There is art, too. Sometimes when you’re in the middle of these crises, you’re not sure you’re going to make it to the other end. But we’ve always made it, and so we have a certain degree of confidence, although sometimes you wonder."

   
   People are terrified at times. However, those that make choices based on real criteria, regardless of the conceptual nature of them, can confidently stand behind them and are able to shake off the uncertainties that arise.
3. On the Experience as a User

   “Our DNA is as a consumer company – for that individual customer who’s voting thumbs up or thumbs down. That’s who we think about. And we think that our job is to take responsibility for the complete user experience. And if it’s not up to the par, it’s our fault, plain and simple."

   
   User satisfaction is not just for business owners. Your boss could be considered as a user of your output. By mastering your trade and ensuring a complete and accurate output (albeit a report, a design, an article, etc.), your 'users' will be happy and reward you with continued business.
4. On Focus

   “People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully.”

   
   The real meaning of focus is not the simple yes. Instead, it is all about the ideas which are imparted by picking and sorting the best out. Careful detection and estimation of your plans and the ideas and strategies taken to implement them are what Steve Jobs is talking about.
5. On Passion

   “When I hire somebody really senior, competence is the ante; they have to be really smart. But the real issue for me is, are they going to fall in love with Apple? Because if they in love with Apple, everything else will take care of itself.”

   
   This comes down to passion. When you have passion for what you do, good results and dedication are sure follow. Identifying your passion is difficult but once there, work is no longer work. As a worker, find and live your passion. As an employer, get employees to really see the vision and their role in taking the company there.
   
6. On Leadership Qualities

   “So when a good idea comes, you know, part of my job is to move it around, just see what different people think, get people talking about it, argue with people about it, get ideas moving among that group of 100 people, get different people together to explore different aspects of it quietly, and, you know – just explore things."

   
   Cisco Systems had a great motto at one point that read, "We are stronger together than we'll ever be apart." Many times, good ideas are made great by seeking input from others. By surrounding yourself with people that you'd admit are smarter than you, greatness has a chance.
7. On Product Tactics

   “It’s not about pop culture, and it’s not about fooling people, and it’s not about convincing people that they want something they don’t. We figure out what we want. And I think we’re pretty good at having the right discipline to think through whether a lot of other people are going to want it, too. That’s what we get paid to do.”

   
   This is about legitimacy. Getting paid is great but executing on a long term vision based on demand is a true art.
8. On Succession Planning

   “I mean, some people say, ‘Oh God, if [Jobs] got run over by a bus, Apple would be in trouble.’ And, you know, I think it wouldn’t be a party, but there are really capable people at Apple. My job is to make the whole executive team good enough to be successors, so that’s what I try to do.”

   
   The real work of a CEO is to lay pipe (sort of speak). A good CEO is laying the groundwork for an organization to succeed on its own - today and tomorrow. Much of this has to do not only with the people that surround you, but letting go of the ego.
9. On LayOffs

   “We’ve had one of these before, when the dot-com bubble burst. What I told our company was that we were just going to invest our way through the downturn, that we weren’t going to lay off people, that we’d taken a tremendous amount of efforts to get them into Apple in the first place – the last thing we were going to do is lay them off.”

   
   When you make a concrete effort to only hire the best employees, releasing them may cost more than keeping them around. Sure. Unproductive employees need to go but mass layoffs versus a strategic realignment that moves expertise, is a clear alternative. Choices like this, short term gain versus long term impairment, are critical ones to make.
10. On the job of Recruiting

    “Recruiting is hard. It’s just finding the needles in the haystack. You can’t know enough in a one-hour interview. So, in the end, it’s ultimately based on your gut. How do I feel about this person? What are they like when challenged? I ask everybody that: ‘Why are you here?’ The answer isn't very important, it’s the meta-data."

    
    The recruiting job is tough indeed and not as easy as you'd think. If you, as a hirer, get to someone's core, you have a chance at understanding them. This is what Steve Jobs would love to say about the entire process of hiring people for work. He also finds it similar to looking out for the needles in the haystack which is simply as impossible as it should be.

There are plenty more quotes given out by Steve Jobs. However, these form a decent foundation that you can take to you life in the effort to find great success, for attaining hopes, and building up a real huge empire!

 

By: Manish Pandey

Source: Dumb Little Man

The Best Way to Drug Your Employees

I would have been on time but an employee stopped me with a legitimate safety concern, so I walked into the meeting five minutes late.

My boss had his back turned as he wrote on a whiteboard, so I slipped quietly into a chair and made a cringing, lips pursed, “sorry…” face to the group.

“Glad you could grace us with your presence,” my boss said, without turning around.

“I’m sorry, I –”

“I don’t give a crap what you’re sorry about,” he interrupted. Voice rising he said, “Don’t want to hear your excuses either. If you can’t be on time don’t show up at all… hell, come to think of it, why don’t you just leave.”

I was shocked. He was often volatile, but never like this — and never towards me. As I started to apologize again he whirled around, pointed to the door, and said, “Seriously. Get out. Now!”
When I still didn’t move he held out his hand, palm down, and flicked his fingers towards me as if to say, “Shoo.”

So shoo I did: Embarrassed, angry, humiliated, ashamed, outraged… you name it, I felt it.
For the next few hours I was worthless. I fumbled from task to task and struggled to stay focused with employees who needed me. I kept trying to pull myself together but couldn’t — and I felt like a failure since I couldn’t just suck it up and move on.

As it turns out, I shouldn’t have felt like a failure. My inability to move past the incident wasn’t completely my fault.

My boss had drugged me.

“A disrespectful behavior automatically triggers a squirt of cortisol into our brains,” says Paul Meshanko, founder and Managing Partner of Legacy Business Cultures. “Cortisol shuts down the prefrontal cortex and triggers the flight or fight mechanism. So our focus turns inward and we lose the ability to fully engage with other people, to help other people, to be creative and energized and motivated — because our body automatically concentrates on surviving, not thriving.”

Disrespectful behaviors come in all flavors and generate different size doses of cortisol, of course. Getting tossed from the room was fairly extreme (at least based on what I was accustomed to) and as a result so was my physiological reaction.

It can take between three and four hours for a sizable disrespect “injection” to wear off. A sneer or a snarky comment would have generated a smaller squirt of cortisol and less of a physical reaction, and the effects would have lasted for a shorter period of time.

“But even when the initial effects finally go away, the process isn’t over,” Paul says. “When we think about a particular incident later we receive another squirt of cortisol and feel similar effects. Disrespect is like the anti-gift; instead of the gift that keeps on giving, it’s the ‘gift’ that keeps on taking.”

It doesn’t have to be that way, though. When we are treated with respect, a dose of serotonin and oxytocin is squirted into our brains.
Encouragement, praise, appreciation… even the smallest behaviors that help create a more respectful workplace can automatically trigger a powerful biological response, leading to:

• Improved self esteem
• Greater job satisfaction
• Better cooperation and teamwork
• Higher productivity
• Greater customer satisfaction

Hard to believe? It’s not: When we feel better about ourselves — and we feel better about the people who lead us — we try harder. And we treat others better, too. Think about the best boss you’ve ever had; he or she made you feel capable, respected, and valued. We will run through walls for those leaders.

And it doesn’t take much on your part. Say an employee deftly handles a customer complaint. You praise her and squirt! — she’s more motivated, more enthusiastic, shows more initiative… all because she feels good about herself and the job she does. Studies show that something as simple as a sincere compliment makes it much more likely a behavior will occur again in the future and much more likely that behavior will occur without prompting.

Your interactions with employees — in fact with everyone — trigger biological responses. That’s just how it works; in simple terms, our bodies automatically react to certain stimuli, so we in effect drug each other through our actions, at work and elsewhere. Sincerely compliment your significant other and the response is automatically positive; yell at your children and they naturally shut down. They can’t help it.

We can’t help it. It’s how we’re made.

So you have a choice:

• Treat employees with indifference or, worse, a lack of respect and their performance suffers, often for hours; or
• Actively treat employees with respect so they will be happier, healthier, and much more productive.

The choice is always yours, and here’s the great part — it’s a choice you get to make hundreds of times a day.

By Jeff Haden
Source: BNET

13 Incredibly Simple Ways to Overcome the Fear of Failure

Imagine if you could do anything in the world without feeling fear or any negative feelings whatsoever.
The fear of failure is instilled in us from early childhood because of overly protective parents. It’s not easy to hear the words “No!” over and over again.
After awhile you start getting cautious about what you do. You constantly look to an authority figure to see if it’s okay.
As we grow, this negative belief becomes unconscious. You don’t even know it’s there. You just live your life as best as you can.
Overcoming fear of failure is not easy by any means, but it can be done, especially if you are determined to take your personal growth to the next level.
There is no magic pill that will transform you into a fearless hero, only steps that will take you closer to freedom from the imaginary jail cell of your mind.

1. Identify the Root Cause

“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

Where does your fear of failure originate?
Sit down, take a few deep breaths, ask yourself when your fear of failure was formed, and observe what you see, feel, or hear.
When you see what caused your fear of failure, you’ll also see that your mind’s interpretation is far from accurate.
If your parents were overly protective, or if you had a particularly strict teacher, you’ll see that they did it because they want the best for you.
It’s easy to see how the you of the past interpreted events as he or she did. But if you look at the event as an outsider, you will see that it had nothing to do with you.
It’s crucial to examine all of your negative beliefs, because they have a big influence on how you live your life.

2. Simplify

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” — Leonardo da Vinci

Complexity is hard to visualize, and if you try, you will feel overwhelmed. Everything will feel hopeless and not worth doing, because you just don’t know how.
When I began my online journey, I was overwhelmed to say the least. I had no idea of where to go, what to do, or how to do it.
When I simplified the tasks that I needed to do, it all became much easier. I had no problem taking action because I had broken everything down into actionable pieces.
And if I didn’t know what to do, I’d ask someone, or join a training program.
I took the task of starting a website and broke it down to coming up with a domain name, buying hosting, getting a website up and running, and getting a simple design.
It also didn’t hurt that I was determined to make it work. If you don’t have that fire burning inside of you, you should think twice about moving forward.
Find your passion, and boldly go where you have never gone before.

3. Failure is Inevitable

“It is foolish to fear what you cannot avoid.” — Publius Syrus

Let’s face it, failure is inevitable if you want to live a remarkable life. I know you want to live a life full of passion, meaning, and purpose.
We all do.
But it’s not going to happen if you succumb to your fears and try to look for a more comfortable way out, because there is none.
Sooner or later you will have to overcome the fear of failure, and you will have to overcome many other fears during your lifetime.
Sometimes it’s overwhelming, frustrating, and exhausting. I know, I’ve been there, but the more you move through tough periods, the faster you’ll grow.
If you want the life of your dreams, make failure a part of your life.
Embrace it.

4. Fail More. Succeed More.

“There is no failure. Only feedback.” — Robert Allen

The more you fail, the more you succeed.
I was lucky to learn that lesson early in my life. When I became a professional poker player, I was 18, and I already knew that the more feedback I got, the faster I would learn.
I crave constructive criticism. It is a chance for me to improve what I’m doing.
I never assume that I know it all, nor do I assume that I am above failure. Even the most successful people fail every single day.
The difference between the successful and the not-yet-successful is the realization that failure is simply a stepping stone, not a permanent event.

5. Failure is Temporary

“Failure is an event, never a person.” — William D. Brown

Failure feels permanent, but it isn’t. You and I both know that, but we don’t act like it is so.
You may imagine yourself failing and the movie in your head stops there. If you let the movie play, you will realize that that failure may be exactly what you needed.
It may be the messenger of the lesson you needed to succeed down the road. Failure isn’t easy, but it is what will make you the person you want to become.
I’ve failed more times than I can count, yet I still fear failure. The difference now versus when I was in my late teens is that I know that the fear of failure is just a thought.
It conjures up feelings in my body that feel bad. It has no bearing in reality. It is often exaggerated and out of control.
Most people never stop to observe their thoughts. And they never stop to ponder that their thoughts could be wrong.
Why give your thoughts all that authority if they make you feel bad?

6. Free Your Mind

“The mind is everything. What you think you become.” — Buddha

See your thoughts for what they are … thoughts.
Thoughts can be eliminated, feelings can be alleviated, and fears can be overcome.
You can do this by taking massive action and facing your fears. You can also use methods such as The Work, EFT, and meditation.
I have personally been using EFT since I was 16. I have been meditating on and off for the same time. And I recently got acquainted with The Work.
I won’t delve into how you can use them in this article, because it would simply take up too much space, so I suggest you visit the websites of EFT and The Work, and read my article on how to meditate.
There’s more to life than being a slave to your mind, your programming, and the beliefs of society. You think what you become, so make sure you get it right on the inside before you blame the outside.
So many people try to get more money, better relationships, and seek happiness only to end up where they started.
They seek something outside of themselves, when everything they wanted was right in front of them.

7. Shift Your Perspective

“Failure teaches success.” — Japanese Saying

Who taught you that failure was a bad thing?
It feels bad, so it must be bad. Is that really true?
Every belief and thought that makes us feel bad needs to be examined. What good does a fear of failure do us?
It’s easier said than done to eliminate negative beliefs, but it all starts with being aware that a problem actually exists.
The last thing you want to do is get mad at yourself for not being perfect. We all have our unique fears and they are there for a reason.
Your fears will help you grow in the way you need to grow. You realize your negative beliefs when they need to be realized. There is no rush. This is not a competition. You’re doing perfectly.
Look at each failure as a blessing in disguise. It is not through success that we become wise, but through our failures.
I learned this lesson particularly well when I played poker for a living for half a decade. In poker, luck is a big factor, which means that you can play well, but still lose for weeks and months.
It can be extremely frustrating, but what it teaches you is discipline, and it teaches you to constantly improve your game.
It taught me one of the most valuable lessons of my life, which is to look at the negative periods as times of learning.
The same goes for life. Whenever you’re faced with something particularly difficult, learn from it and grow, because it will pass.

8. Self Growth

“Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call “failure” is not the falling down, but the staying down.” — Mary Pickford

We all have the same basic fears. While same get through them easily, others get stuck. Use your fears as signposts that tell you where you have room to grow.
Fear of failure is something everyone faces at one point or another. This isn’t the end of the world, but the beginning of an amazing journey.
I know you may feel like being afraid of failure is horrible. That is because you imagine it to be so in your mind. Look at the pictures and thoughts that come up when you think about the fear of failure.
What do you see? Do you see yourself failing in front of a large group of people, which then proceed to laugh and point?
They are nothing but thoughts. You can get through them if you want to. You’ve already taken the first step by reading this article.
Even if you wanted to go back to your comfortable existence, it’s already too late, because the seed has been planted by you reading this article

9. Embrace Fear

“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

Everyone is afraid to one degree or another. No one is different. It’s ingrown into our biological mechanism.
The sooner you befriend your fear, the faster you can keep moving forward. It is not fear that stops you from going after your dreams, but what you decide to do because of those fears.
You can reprogram the way you react to your fears, thoughts, and worries. Whenever I am working on something that is important, such as doing what I love, and a fear pops up, I know I will get through it.
The alternative is giving up, which isn’t an option.
If you are determined to go after your passion, your fears will become insignificant in comparison.

10. Take Action

“I failed my way to success.” — Thomas Edison

We have more knowledge at our fingertips now than ever before in history. The internet gives you access to endless amounts of courses, guides, and training programs.
No matter what you want to do, you can learn. It’s fantastic. But it can also be paralyzing and a breeding ground for fear.
The what if thoughts enter your mind and you start worrying about this and that. No matter what, if you take action, you will eventually end up in the right place.
When you blend action with the guidance that comes from your heart, your progress will be fast, powerful, and fulfilling.
You see, while most people sit at the sidelines waiting for the perfect moment, you will be out there learning, doing, and growing.
That is what will get you to the life of your dreams.

11. Imagine Your Future

“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?” — Vincent van Gogh

Sometimes negativity helps.
Imagine your future if you let every fear you had control your life.
What does it look like?
Where would you end up?
Do you think you would regret it when you’re at the end of your life?
Now imagine your life if you had overcome every fear on your path. You would be living the life of you always desired.
You would look back at your life without regrets. Sure, you may have done some foolish things, but they just added some spice to your life.
You can sit home and feel sorry for yourself all you want, but it isn’t going to make your life different. Only you have the power to change your life, so you might as well start now.

12. Stay in the Now

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” – Buddha

Most of us live in either the past or in the future.
We regret what we’ve done (or not done), or we worry about what’s to come.
Using the past and present is fine when done with a purpose, like #11 up there, but letting your mind run amok will do you no good, as you probably already know.
There are no problems in the present. You are okay right now. You have a roof over your head, you have food in the fridge, and you feel fine.
You would be fine without a roof as well. What would make it not okay is your mind, and the stories it tells around your situation.
Accept the gift that is the present moment.
Breathe, smell, hear, and enjoy who you are, right now. You already have the key to your happiness.

13. Follow Your Passion

“No man is a failure who is enjoying life.” — William Feather

Last, but definitely not least is to follow your passion. We both knew this was coming .
If you decide to follow your passion, you will be much more likely to blast through your fears.
You know, like me, that doing anything other than going after your dreams is not an option. I might feel secure in a regular job, but I would never be happy or fulfilled.
Sometimes I feel like I am not living life, but life is living me. I go with my feelings and my heart. I do what excites me.

It’s an interesting way to live, and I invite you to try it.

Overcoming fear of failure is as hard as you make it. When you face your fears, you will realize that they are nowhere as bad as you thought they would be.

So what will it be?

Your fears, or the life of your dreams?

By: Henri
Source: Wake Up Cloud